To get things back on track, Doares suggests addressing issues as a family so everyone can talk about the changes together.
Also, inform your child's teacher of the new situation, but don't automatically put your kid in therapy.
Specifically, "learn all of the online passwords to bank accounts, which accounts had automatic payments and where money is invested, including the names of all accounts, the account numbers and the investment advisors," says Newman.
"Raw emotions will heal and legalities will be completed, but the financial impact of poor decisions, or default decisions due to lack of understanding, will last a lifetime," she warns.
Step one: Thoroughly understand your current cost of living 5. Even with carefully planning out your future expenses, something surprising may pop up.
Julie, 50, from Denver, thought she'd be able to handle her divorce.
"I'm a strong person, I own my own business and I'm a professional speaker," she says.
Try to have money available—like $5,000—within days. "It not only 'showed him;' it also showed the wife—and their children—what life is like on a lower salary," she says.
Simplybadmouthing your ex is likely to hurt your kids more than your husband, even if you don't think they hear or read what you say.
"I wasn't prepared for the loneliness that accompanied Christmas," she says.
"It amplified the concept of a broken home." She wishes she had made plans to see her mother or a friend—or taken a vacation—to take her mind off spending the holiday by herself.
But she admits she could barely function for a full year after the split.
Her divorce recovery classes helped her realize everyone bounces back at their own pace.
"It's important to have support that's educated as well as therapeutic."2. "I used a criminal attorney and got a poor settlement," admits Christine K. On the other hand, a lawyer who's well-versed in family law could get you a better settlement because she knows the state-law nuances and local judges and lawyers, says Jacqueline Newman, a partner at a boutique New York City law firm specializing in divorce.